Why do men need lingam massages?
To awaken their Inner Clitorises, and because "men keep a lot of their stress in their pelvic area," say the experts.
Right! That's where the author keeps his stress (except for the tiny bit that he hides inside his socks for emergencies).
Can lingam and yoni massages save the world from itself and from global warming?
Absolutely, claims the author, listing the numerous benefits deriving to the world from lingam massages. In addition, the author proposes a World Economic Recovery Plan in which lingam and yoni massages, occasionally administered by force to world leaders and Wall Street traders, result in world peace and safe sex, and thus save the planet eight trillion dollars (equivalent to America's budget deficit, or Quatar's annual expenditure on camel kebabs).
The book has now been expanded with two additional chapters: "The Guantanamoing of Penises and Nipples," which is excerpted from Massage No Boom Boom, but is also appropriate for this meditation on lingams and yonis; and excerpts from I Will Not Go the f**k to Sleep, which is the author's book of nonconformist, madcap humor and political satire.
This humorous essay with a pro-peace message is for the Australian guy who laughed for two minutes just on hearing the title. Light on technical content, and tilted heavily towards priapic humor and satire, this book is chiefly designed to be an endorphin-releasing gift of laughter: to yourself or to others.
Around 8000 words (25 pages)
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